Teen Dating Stories, February 2012

My unhealthy Relationship…I started dating a guy freshman year that I fell head over heels for. He took my virginity that year and I later found out he was cheating on me. I thought I could give him a second chance and he would change but that was a mistake. We dated off and on for three years because I though he was the best I could get. Through all the years though he became a heroin addict. He forced sex upon me all the time. Even in public places. When he would shoot up he would hurt me, choke me, hit me and would tell me if I didn’t do drugs with him he would put it in my arm for me. I never did them but he became more and more disrespectful and hurtful. He started to be come a huge threat in my life. In the end the outcome was a horrible heartbreak, a waste of three years and I later found out he cheated on me with over nine girls. He lied, was manipulative, very controlling and yet very sensitive, at least only for his own feelings. He always twisted things around and made it seem like my fault. A lot of girls stay in an abusive relationship because they have not met a good guy yet, they may be insecure and may not have a very good relationship with their fatherly figures. After being treated like crap for years I realized that I thought it was normal for a boyfriend to treat their girl like that. I would put up with so much in hopes he would change but I met a guy this last year who has treated me like a Queen, respects me and doesn’t lie to my face. He’s changed my whole point of view, making me realize I didn’t deserve a single thing that asshole did to me. I just hope more girls out there would realize that and not blame themselves. No girl deserves that hurtful betrayal. I have not had any contact with him for months and the last time I saw him he was on the side of the road panhandling. Karmas a B**** but he deserves every last bit of it.
~Anonymous Teen, Nevada Union High School

His eyes, personality, physical appearance, just everything about him makes you smile and light up from the inside out. You love him and would do anything for him!That’s how I felt about my old boyfriend. Each day I would get up and check my phone right away to see if he texted me, all I wanted was to see him and always be around him. He made me feel like the girl with the nearly perfect boyfriend that the other girls were jealous of. He made me so happy that I would have dropped everything for him. Stupid, I know but love can make people do strange things. 

He asked one thing of me, just one, to not talk to or see my ex boyfriend. That same week my ex had come and talked to me, some people told my boyfriend before I could. I didn’t have the chance to explain to him that I told my ex boyfriend that we could not talk anymore and that I didn’t want to. My boyfriend felt angry and lied to, perhaps betrayed.

As time went by, I could just feel the cage walls closing in, the door shutting and hearing the “click” of a lock in my head. I lost all my friends, privacy, and so much more. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone, not even my girlfriends I had for 11 years. My phone was checked to make sure I wasn’t talking to anyone but him and that no one was trying to talk to me. My facebook page was deactivated as well as my e-mail.

Everyday I had to tell him where I was on campus, and what class I was leaving or going to. All the people around me were saying that I shouldn’t let him do that, blaming him and telling me I need to get out of the situation before it got worse. But of course I just looked at the ground and walked away without a word. Having to isolate myself from everything hurt a lot, being alone every moment away from him, but the only reason I put up with it without protest was the minor thought of loosing him seemed ten times more arduous then being alone. When I tried to leave he knew how to pull me back in. I felt like I was just a chess piece in his mental game. I couldn’t tell anyone and tried not to show it but it was difficult.

In the end, he decided I was no longer needed and just cut off communication all together. Despite the pain I felt when I was trying my hardest to make him happy, being alone felt worse. I was as though each day grew darker and fare as more passed…

~Anonymous Teen, Nevada Union High School


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Teen Resources

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month
Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Awareness Month is a national effort to raise awareness about abuse in teen and 20-something relationships and promote programs that prevent it during the month of February.

Love is Respect
Get information, counseling and support for dating violence and dating questions and concerns 24/7 thru Live Chat, hotline, text, or website.
www.loveisrespect.org for live chat
Teen hotline 1- 866 -331-9474
Text “loveis” to 77054
This is the ultimate dating abuse and healthy relationship resource for teens.

Break the Cycle
Empowering Youth to End Domestic Violence.  Break the Cycle believes everyone has the right to safe and healthy relationships. They are the leading, national nonprofit organization addressing teen dating violence. They work every day towards their mission to engage, educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from domestic violence.

Let Your Heart Rule
Created by Break the Cycle and HopeLine from Verizon in 2011, the Let Your Heart Rule campaign is designed to engage high school students across the country, helping them prevent abusive relationships by providing vital information and resources.

Love is Louder
Love is Louder was started by actress Brittany Snow, The Jed Foundation and MTV to build on the outpouring of support online after the lives of multiple teenagers were lost to suicide in September 2010. This movement strives to amplify the momentum of other inspiring online campaigns and invite anyone who has felt mistreated, misunderstood or isolated into the conversation. We are here to raise the volume around a critical message — that love and support is more powerful than the external and internal voices that bring us down, cause us pain and make us feel hopeless.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Are you in crisis? Please call 1-800-273-TALK the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or visit the website for support.

Half of Us
Ever felt so down you couldn’t concentrate in school or enjoy social activities with your friends? If so, you are not alone.  All of us have the power to take control of our emotional health in order to improve our moods and get the most out of life.  Check out this website for more information.

Boss of Me
BOM is here to help you get your relationship solid. If it is deeper than drama or if you or someone you know feels unsafe and needs help out of the situation please call their number (1-866-331-9474), look at their site, call our crisis line or dial 911

Love is Not Abuse
By Liz Clairborne: Real Teens Talk, Reality Check, Danger Zone, Fast Facts. 10 warning signs, Cool Stuff, Talking to Adults, When It’s Over, Girl/Guy talk.

Teen Voices
Because you’re more than just a pretty face – the online magazine written by, about, and for teenage and young adult women. Includes discussions on self-esteem, health, female stereotypes, sexual assault, racism, and more.

The website for National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender Youth.

Men Can Stop Rape
Empowers male youth to work as allies with women in preventing rape and other forms of men’s violence. Promotes gender equality and builds men’s capacity to be strong without being violent. Includes the monthly comic strip “The Saga of Anti-Rape Man” about a reluctant superhero and friends…

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
RAINN is the nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization, operating the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800-656-HOPE) and programs to prevent sexual assault, help victims and bring rapists to justice.

Love: The Good, the Bad, the Ugly
Click on this website for true stories, ideas, information, and advice – from Australia.

In the Mix: Twisted Love
PBS show on dating violence with Neve Campbell

Nevada County’s local resource for teens: Things to do, jobs and money, relationships, education, parents, relationships, emotions, drugs and alcohol, and your body.

National Runaway Switchboard
Keeping America’s runaway, homeless and at-risk youth safe and off the streets. Call 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are a teenager who is thinking of running from home, if you have a friend who has run and is looking for help, or if you are a runaway ready to go home.

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